Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Peace peas

I don't own a tv. I live in a studio in NYC so basically my bedroom is my kitchen is my living room and since my studio is all these things at once, it cannot hold a tv unless I have a flat screen. I would luurve a flat screen but i don't think it is quite in my budget. I told my sister once about wanting a 14" flat screen and she told me that I better get a magnifying glass if I don't want to squint too badly. (sigh) If I had a bigger screen it would simply not sit.
I was offerred a tv once for free. My friend Karen was getting rid of hers because she got a flat screen (damn her) but I refused it. It feels quite liberating not having a television because I feel like there is always so much STUFF especially in New York. Too many movies, too many channels, too many books. God, I have the internet and it keeps me plenty occupied.
So if I have to watch the television, I go to the gym. It is a great motivator. So tonight before I watched my INXS, I stumbled upon the vh1 special with Ashley Judd and India Arie who respctively went to Madagascar and Kenya to face the AIDS issue. I was really moved by this piece and it made me cry. Imagine tearing on the treadmill! There were two parts that moved me the most. One when India Arie was talking to a fourteen year old girl and her family died of AIDS and she made up songs to help deal with the pain. The girl finally broke down because she had so much pain inside. When India asked her what she needed she said that she would like a bag to carry her books. India gave her a bag and clothes and vaseline and she was so happy she started clapping! It made me feel overwhelmed by how much pain and sadness she had to endure but yet so little can make her happy.
The second thing that moved me a lot was when Ashley Judd finally spoke to a woman who was HIV positive. She said that she and her husband both had it but she didn't know who infected whom. She was quite frail and she said people didn't want her around because they didn't want to get infected. She said that she was surprised they even wanted to talk to her and was not scared of her. Ashley gave her this huge hug and it said it all.
Cleaning my studio this weekend, I feel like things left uncared for tend to erode over time. So many dust bunnies and dirt and everything because I just didn't bother. I think that this is neglect holds true on a larger scale. It is easier in life not to know, to think to care. And I don't want to be that person.
I guess that show left me empowered to do something, but I don't know what. But looking at my studio, it might be small but I am glad I choose it. It may not be much but i don't really need that much. But I hope tonight as I write this, my friends and family are all safe and healthy. I will also try to be more cognizant to live outside myself that there is so much more out there than me and not all about me all the time. And I hope to learn to try my hardest and give my best each day. I would love to cure the ails of Africa, of the world...but right now, what I can do is to set a good example and start with myself.


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